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literature

Endings in Disguise

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Daspir

Published: Sep 19, 2011

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Literature Text

I have hopelessness in abundance,
grief to spare,
loneliness in excess
and am well aware

you're just another in a long line of those who came before.

I watch for ways to both achieve
less
and want for more

as I watched you sweep away

all things not you or yours
when you stole my breath,
voice, and time.

Yeah, I'm still doing just fine.

I got one foot out the door
and a hollowed out heart when
beginnings are ends
beginning to start.

LION IN THE MIDST

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Comments2

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Treehugger93

Sep 20, 2011

It sounds just fine to me already. I guess if you wanted to add something, you could put it between "want for more" and "So, I wished", because that transition does seem a bit abrupt. I really like it, though, especially the rhyme-scheme. Rhyming poetry's getting pretty rare these days, so it always makes me smile to see someone make the effort.

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